Evening - Page 10

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Field trips suck.

OK, so we're like doing one of those visits to this temple with W3. It didn't even occur to me that Herb and I would spend any time together (and that would have been just fine by me, really) but during the, like, tour of the place something unexpected happened.

OK, in retrospect, I suppose I should have expected crap like that from Ms. Wicked Witch, I mean I guess she has people like Herb's dad slipping her a few shekels to help students erm…graduate, but personally I think with her it's, like, personal. Anyway, we're walking around the temple and W3 is cackling in her best evil voice with stuff like

"And this, are carvings showing what happened to miscreants like you! Eeeee-hehehehehe!"

Blah, blah, blah. I mean like, after the fourth time, we got the frickin picture! Anyways, she carrying on with "evil this" and "sacrifice that" when we come up to the big altar in the middle of the temple and there's like this big, deep, dark pit behind it. As we come up to it, Ms. Blather is still babbling on:

"And this, my pretties, is where victims were sacrificed!"

Then she glared at everybody and asked a question:

"Can anyone tell me how many people were sacrificed here? No? Well I'll tell you that there are about to be a lot more!"

And then this huge purple amoebic thing came out of the pit and started oozing towards us. The whole class was like "run for your lives!" and stuff.

"Uncle Astrothoth?"

"Yog?"

"Uncle!"

"How's my favorite niece? Nephew? Well, you're certainly filling out…and I like the phosphorous!"

I felt all shy like when your grandmother pinches your mitochondrion and says "ain't it cute!" I really appreciated that he noticed my highlights.

"You like em?"

"I think that…oops! Got a quota here, I'll catch you on the way back!"

I noticed that Ms. I-think-I'll-sacrifice-my-class was stomping over to us and Uncle A schlepped off towards a pocket of frightened students. As she's passing me she says "figures" under her breath.

I hate her.

So I'm trying to interest myself with some of the carvings on the walls and stuff, but it's hard to focus with all the screams and kids running around so I'm just kinda wandering. Every now and then I see Uncle A chasing or eating someone (I never liked them anyways) when I turn a corner and there's Herb and Xema.

OK, I know it's like, childish, but I was so tempted to like, call over Uncle A and get rid of them, but I'm still in my teens (like 13,000 years or so), so I figure I'm allowed. I feel so guilty about what happened next too.

Xema was like, trying to mutter some spell, and she kept trying to do the whole "thumbs up" flick thing while saying stuff like "et lumina!" and after the fifth try I said "don't you mean et flamma?" She glares at me but she says "et flamma" and her thumb gets this flame up and her face lights up. Just then Uncle A is turning a corner going "Muhahahaha!" and stuff and Xema like spits at him.

I mean that's really gross, but like this flame spouts from her mouth and seriously comes close to burning him, and he stops up and is like all "hey!" when Xema lets out this loud "wooohooo" kinda thing and starts chasing him.

to be continued

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