DeathTalker 2: Chapter 1

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Anakin watched the vortex as it sat in the sky. It was beautiful in its way. Awesome, apocalyptic, inescapable.

Anakin had had been standing there a long time watching it. He didn't eat. He didn't sleep. He didn't talk. He just watched.

His look did not betray fear or gladness or regret. His eyes were wide, his expression almost blank. If one looked closely, he almost appeared…

A growing belief had formed in him that had been confirmed as time went on. The vortex was shrinking. In days, perhaps as long as a month it would cease to be entirely – its source of food consumed. Its work done.

Anakin was standing atop one of the higher buildings on Coruscant, at least from the standpoint of the planet's "surface." Such a distinction was not entirely clear in a place like this: where buildings could be larger below the ground than above it.

He became aware of someone approaching. A bright point of light – a strong presence.

"Obi-wan. What do you want?"

The Jedi stopped and regarded Anakin's back. An old force trick, to be able to notice a person's approach.

"I thought that I would bring you someone you might be missing."

Anakin seemed to sigh as he turned to face Obi-wan. His grim visage gave way to one of longing and emotion when he saw who was with him. He broke into a run.

"Anakin"

Padme's arms were outstretched.

"R2!"

"Beep!"

Anakin met the droid half-way. His arms flung about it in a gesture of hopelessness and happiness.

"I'm here too."

"Oh…hi Padme."

Anakin looked up at Obi-wan, his face streaked with tears.

"Thank you."

But then he rose.

His countenance transformed back into a mask; the moisture on his face glimmering in the light of nearby buildings.

"What can I do for you?"

"I'm worried about you."

"Is that so?"

"Beep!"

"Thanks R2."

"And uh…so am I!"

"Thanks Padme."

Anakin stopped for a second.

"You're not here just to add a frivolous love element to a crummy story are you?"

"Brap."

"Not you R2."

"No, I'm not. What do you take me for?"

Anakin thought a moment.

"I meant metaphorically."

Anakin thought some more.

"Figuratively…oh never mind."

"So this has nothing to do with the Council sending you on another mission."

"I didn't say that."

"I meant Obi-Wan, but it's interesting that they included you too."

Obi-Wan crossed his arms.

"You have to admit that your last statement was a bit dramatic."

"I was caught up in the moment."

"Why, what did he say?"

"Beep-bow-weep."

"Really?"

"Stop that."

"Sorry."

"Beep."

"What happened back there? I felt…something."

Anakin looked towards the Vortex.

"What do you see, there?"

"What? Do you mean, the Zima building?"

"That's the Ramen building."

"They look similar."

Anakin and Padme shared a look.

"Well then, I think it would be best if I left it at that."

Anakin turned about and walked towards a nearby speeder.

"Mind you, I feel something…strange."

Anakin stopped.

"Knowledge can be a burden Obi-Wan. Make sure you can shoulder it before you take it on."

Anakin hopped into the air-car and sped away.

It was all very dramatic up to the point where he had to circle back to pick up R2.

"What the hell was that supposed to mean?

Anakin fidgeted impatiently as R2 got aboard the speeder.

"You know…heavy, burden, knowledge."

"Are you trying to say that with knowledge comes power style of thing?"

Anakin glanced up at Padme impatiently.

"Yeah, sort of."

"Well the point didn't come across very well."

Anakin rolled his eyes and got in the speeder. He vanished into the night.

"Why don't you want me to go with you?"

"Call it compassion."

Obi-Wan and Anakin stood outside a ship called the Ebon Hawk. It was a sort of Millennium Falcon type of affair except smaller. The droids were finishing with preparations and fueling.

"(Ooof). I didn't know you had a ship."

Padme had just arrived with a rather large box thingie. Anakin glanced over at her and shrugged.

"There are a lot of things you don't know about me."

Padme rolled her eyes and walked away.

"Just where are we going?"

"I have to stop something."

"What?"

"Yeah, what?"

Padme arrived with another box thingie. Before Anakin could answer, she turned and walked away. Anakin fidgeted impatiently.

"Well, where are we going?"

"I'd just prefer to only have to say this once, so I'm waiting for Padme."

Obi-Wan grunted and waited. Time passed. Padme approached with another burden. Anakin turned away as she dropped off another suitcase-like affair.

"As I was telling Obi-Wan, I only want to say this once. The place that I am going is…dammit!"

Anakin turned full around, but Padme had already gone out of earshot.

"You know, you could just tell me, and I could tell her later."

The gangplank to the Ebon Hawk descended.

"She'll just ask later."

"You're probably right."

A droid approached with some sort of futuristic piece of paper for Anakin to sign. Just then Padme approached with some more stuff.

"The place we're going is BEEP!"

The droid was bumping into him and trying to get him to sign its clip-board thingie.

"I think you need to sign something."

"Yes, but I just want to say BEEP! Look alright!"

Anakin snatched up the clipboard and hurriedly signed the sheet of paper. As far as he could tell, it was not made out of 100% recycled material.

"Goddamn son-of-a-BEEP!! BEEPing, BEEEEP!"

"The price that bad?"

"No, she took off again!"

"So she did."

"Look, maybe we can just get on the ship and take off without her."

Obi-Wan shrugged and headed to the gangplank. Glancing surreptitiously about, Anakin followed him. Arriving at the cockpit, he got into the pilots seat.

"This is really for the best."

Anakin hit a switched and nudged a lever forwards. Nothing happened. He tried again. Nothing continued to happen.

"Uh oh, here she comes…"

Looking out of the canopy, Anakin could see Padme heading towards the ship with yet another box. He started hitting switches and pressing buttons. Out on the tarmac, Padme put her hands on her hips and looked about. Finally, she glanced towards the ship. Anakin ducked.

"Get down."

"What?"

"Get down so she doesn't see you!"

"Don't be ridiculous."

Anakin reached over and yanked the Jedi down in his seat. Obi-Wan protested and tried to get Anakin's hands off him.

"Stop that!"

After a few seconds, Anakin glanced up and saw that Padme was heading back to a nearby building. With a sign, he got back up in his seat and resumed trying to figure out why the Ebon Hawk was not moving. Obi-Wan glared at him and regained his seat. With exaggerated dignity, he straightened his robes.

"Maybe we need to get clearance from the tower or something."

Anakin had popped open a control panel and was rooting around inside.

"Don't be silly."

Obi-Wan put his chin on his hand and waited. Anakin continued rummaging.

"Uh-oh, here she comes again."

Anakin bumped his head and muttered something.

"Looks like she's got some kind of tractor…would you look at all that baggage!"

"We can still make it!"

Some time later, the two of them were sitting in the cockpit. Anakin was glowering at his instrument panel.

Padme came in and sat down in one of the passenger seats. Turing the seat towards another panel, she spoke into a microphone.

"OK, we're ready."

"Roger Senator, you are cleared for take off."

"All set!"

Anakin glared and flipped some switches. Sounds of a ship powering up filled the cockpit.

"Sorry about that, but I was afraid you would leave without me."

The ship raised into the air and pointed upwards. Gaining speed it, it rose into the afternoon sky.

"Where are we going again?"

"Korriban."

"Hmmm…why are we going there?"

---

"I'll just go check our course…"

"NO!"

Obi-Wan and Anakin were in the ship's galley when the Jedi had become upset. Padme wandered in as well.

"What's the matter?"

"Anakin wanted to 'check our course.'"

"NO!"

"That's what I said."

The senator glared at Anakin and then stalked out of the room.

"Anakin?"

"Eh?"

"Before you were saying that you didn't want to take me along out of compassion."

"Yes?"

"Well, compassion for what?"

Anakin glanced at Obi-Wan like he was some rather dense child.

"You of course."

"What about me?"

Anakin sighed.

"Obi-Wan, you've dedicated almost all of your life to the Jedi, to the force. What you would learn from me would be…well upsetting."

"How so?"

"It would upset you."

"You're beginning to sound like Master Yoda."

Anakin glared at him. After a bit of thought, the non-Jedi ventured something else:

"What is the force?"

"Don't change the subject!"

"Look, I'm trying to make an important plot point."

"Oh all right. The force is…life. Life makes it grow, luminous it is, not this…"

"Don't get carried away."

Obi-Wan looked put out.

"Life."

Anakin gritted his teeth.

"Can you be more specific?"

Obi-Wan perked up.

"Life…makes it grow."

"MIDICHLORIANS are what makes up the force!"

Obi-Wan pouted.

"The organelles that live inside us."

"Except for red blood cells."

"Right, except for them."

"Because they lack a nucleolus."

"OK, aside from red blood cells, they exist inside every cell of our bodies…"

"Oh and I think white blood cells don't have them either, but I'm not sure about that. Also…"

"The point is that most of the cells in all know life forms have them. And that it is this that allows us to feel the force. Well, what happens when life ends?"

"The body dies, the cells die and the midichlorians too."

"But not always."

Anakin was silent for some time.

"The term 'Deathtalker' wasn't created just for me. Sometimes, when someone who is strong in the force dies, they…exist for a little longer."

"Yes."

"How much longer?"

"Well, usually a matter of hours at the longest."

Anakin was staring at Obi-Wan now.

"But I was able to talk to Jedi who had been dead for over a century. What do you think that means?"

"Well, maybe you imagined it."

"Do you remember the bit about me being shot in the head?"

"Alright, I'll grant you that. So what do you think it means?"

"Death may not be the end for us."

---

"Why are you here Padme?"

"Obi-Wan and the council seem to think that it's important that I accompany you."

"And why do you think that is?"

Padme fidgeted.

They were talking in the galley of the Ebon Hawk. Obi-Wan had gone off in search of some place to sleep. Padme had wandered in looking for something to read.

"Probably to remind you that you're human."

"So why does that matter to you."

Padme continued looking around and found some sort of magazine. She glanced up and looked at Anakin with torpid disinterest.

"Beats me."

"Aren't you curious?"

"If I say yes will you quit bothering me?"

Anakin took on a pained expression. Padme flopped down and started to browse through the magazine.

"In a way, you are more honest than Obi. I find your candor refreshing."

Padme rolled her eyes and got up to leave.

"Palpatine had a way of forging alliances between groups that should not have worked together. As a politician I'm sure you can appreciate that. A leader can do so much with personal influence, intimidation, leverage; but Palpatine went beyond that."

"And how do you know that."

"Because as soon as he died, these alliances started falling apart."

Anakin paused. Politics was a point of interest for the senator.

"And?"

"Well, how did he do it?"

Padme crossed her arms.

"Alright so how?"

"It would be strange enough if you didn't know, since you're quite astute when it comes to politics."

Seeing her look, he added.

"I meant no disrespect."

"But at any rate, you aren't the only one who was confused, were you?"

"Actually there are quite a few explanations for what happened."

Anakin looked troubled.

"There are?"

"Yes, well these things do happen from time to time. You get a charismatic leader, the right situation, certain economic conditions – there is precedent for this sort of thing."

"OK, but not very often, right?"

"Not as such though there were…"

"MY POINT IS THAT IT WAS UNUSUAL."

Padme glanced at him, but allowed Anakin to continue.

"Right, so how did he do it then? I'll tell you how: he had help!"

Padme gave him a "well duh!" look.

"But not just any help. I believe that the things that he used were not among…the living!"

Anakin paused for dramatic effect. The silence began to weigh heavily on the conversation. Anakin glanced back at Padme.

"As in not living…dead…you know, beyond the grave style of thing…"

"You mean like ghosts?"

"Yeah…sort of…"

"That is the stupidest idea I've ever heard!"

"Is not."

"I mean what are they going to do: 'Vote this way in the council or I will waaaaail!'"

Padme started laughing. Anakin's face turned red.

"Well, it would be a kind of spooky thing to happen you have to admit."

"I've heard of worse things from my constituents! I mean you wanna talk about whining?!"

Padme was doubled over and making sounds like a horse.

"I mean, they could come back to claim Social Security or something – HA! HA! HA!"

Padme finally settled down, her breathing returning to normal after a short "honk!" sound.

"Anakin? Anakin!"

But he had mysteriously disappeared.

---

"Dead…not alive…not among the living!”

"Beeewooobeep!"

"Well, that's because you're a droid: of course you aren't scared!"

Anakin paced back and forth.

"But believe me if you were a human being, you would be very frightened!"

"Stoopid…had to take these clowns with me…are we there yet?!"

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DeathTalker 2: Chapter 2

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The ship touched down on the dead, windy planet of Korriban; ancient home of the Sith. The setting sun cast long, dark shadows as the ramp was lowered onto the ground.

"Welcome to Korriban!"

Anakin stopped on the ramp so abruptly and Obi-Wan and Padme bumped into him. He glared at the vision of friendliness and hospitality in front of him.

"Who the hell are you?"

"I'm Vince Pathway, one of the many friendly people you will find here on Korriban to help make your stay a pleasant one!"

Anakin's eyes darted uneasily to the man's lapel, where a garish button proclaimed that the local gift shop was having a sale on stuffed Sith dolls.

"Are we on the right planet R2?"

"Beep!"

"Then where are the Sith?"

"Well funny you should ask that – we have an illustrated book in the gift shop that happens to explain, in spooooky detail, the history of the Sith and of Korriban!"

Anakin stalked down the runway without another word. He glared at Vince, decked out in cheap, fake black robes and all, and headed for the disturbing looking Evil Sith Temple™ and Gift Shop. Obi-Wan followed at a more leisurely pace, while Padme stopped to ask the man about toy light sabers.

Entering the building, the three were confronted with a long line, apparently for tickets to some of the rides. Anakin glanced around in an annoyed fashion and headed towards another fake looking Sith. This one had a button describing discounts at the local restaurant.

"Excuse me."

"Just a moment friend, let me finish helping this fine fellow!"

The man was talking to a large wookie who appeared to have pink bows in his fur.

Anakin crossed his arms and waited impatiently. Padme approached with some drinks and handed one to Obi-Wan.

"Thanks for thinking of me too."

Padme shrugged.

Finally the Wookie finished talking to the sales representative. Just as Anakin was about to speak, a Jawa, sporting a fake lightsabre, yanked on the tour guide's pants and started complaining.

"Oh my! I'm sorry, I didn't notice that you were first! Just a moment."

Gritting his teeth, Anakin made a throwing gesture with his hand. The man and the Jawa glanced at the resulting noise. Anakin made a "shooing" gesture and the Jawa flew backwards, slamming into a wall.

The robbed figure turned and did a double-take.

"Now where'd he go?"

Anakin glared at him.

"Well, umm…yes, what can I do for you?"

"Where is the tomb of Naga Shadow?"

"The wha?"

"The tomb of Naga Shadow: the original Sith Lord?!"

"I um, um, um…"

"Oh that's right here Anakin."

He turned and glared at Padme.

"How do you know?!"

"It's on this map I found while I was getting the drinks."

Anakin grabbed the map and stared at it. One corner had the hours that the gift shop was open.

"Ummm…we have tours 9 to 7pm most days…"

He trailed off helplessly and grinned again.

Anakin spun about and marched out of the hall. With a glance at each other, Obi-Wan and Padme followed.

"And to our left you can see some ancient Sith hieroglyphs, cursing anyone who is so foolish to enter the tomb of Naga Shadow."

The tour guide stuck her flashlight under her chin, the light shining up her nose. Her voice dropped to a whisper.

"Do you dare follow me?"

A crowd of onlookers watched in more or less rapt attention. Only the sound of someone munching popcorn could be heard.

Anakin, Obi-Wan and Padme were to the rear of the group. Anakin had his arms crossed. Padme was wearing a baseball cap. Obi-Wan had a foolish, child-like grin and a T-Shirt that read: "My Jedi Master went to Korriban and all I got was this lousy T-shirt!"

"Very well, but don't say I didn't warn you…"

The tour guide led the way into the tomb. Anakin, growling, followed the rest.

Against the far wall was set a dais, steps leading up to a large throne. On it sat a darkly robed figure, his pale hands protruding from his sleeves. Anakin rolled his eyes.

"Enter, my new apprentices…"

The crowd shuffled in into the tomb, the dusty floors recording their footprints. Anakin frowned, that voice sounded familiar.

"I want to call on you all to join me in the ultimate darkness that lurks at the far side of the force…"

Anakin's eyes widened. It couldn't be…

"That voice! My god it's…it's…"

"Grandpa Sith!"

Proclaimed the tour guide.

A small Jawa came running up the steps and jumped into the figure's lap.

"Oof! Well, we do you want for your birthday little one?"

The jawa whispered something jawa-like into the side the of the dark robed

The jawa whispered something in jawa-speak into the side of the dark robed figure's head.

The sinister figure reached into a nearby sack and pulled out a very fake looking red lightsabre. The little humanoid grabbed the toy excitedly and ran off. Another child ran up and sat in his lap. Anakin's face showed a look of true horror as a flash went off, Palpatine's faced pressed next to the child's. His mouth showing a toothy grin.

"This is what we came all this way for?!!"

Anakin looked helplessly at Padme. Her hands were on her hips.

"But…but…can't you see it's him?! It's Palpatine!"

The three of them were now regarding the dark robed figure.

"Please…I prefer 'Gandpa Sith'…it's so much nicer."

The sinister man was grinning a nasty, Sith-like grin. He put down his latest charge and got up off the throne.

"I'm afraid Granpa Sith needs to run off and take care of some evil deeds™. Now you all be bad!"

The crowd waved goodbye, except for an especially persistent child.

"But I didn't get a chance to talk to him!"

Palpatine waved a dark sleeve at him.

"This is not the Sith you're looking for."

"This is not the Sith I'm looking for."

"He can go about his business."

"He can go about his business."

"Move along!"

"Move along!"

Palpatine walked through a doorway, down a corridor into an adjoining chamber.

"Though I do actually like talking to them, the Force does make things so much easier at times…"

Anakin stared him while Obi-Wan took out his lightsabre. Padme's jaw had dropped and she had lost the gum she'd been chewing.

"I saw you die…"

"Funny, I heard the same thing about you."

"Well you will not get away this time."

Obi-Wan had taken an "en guard" position and started approaching.

Silently, three other robed figures appeared from behind the Sith Lord and took up position behind him. Obi-Wan cocked his head and Padme frowned.

"Obi, put the weapon down. You and Padme should leave now."

"What just happened? I feel something's changed."

"I think you should take his advice master Jedi."

Obi-Wan growled and advanced. Palpatine rolled his eyes and shrugged. The Three behind him grinned and raised their hands.

With a cackle, purplish lightning flew from their hands to encompass the Jedi Knight. Gasping, he was lifted into the air and hurled against a nearby wall.

"I'm outta here!"

Palpatine regarded Padme's retreating form.

"She always did strike me as fairly bright."

"Certainly smarter than Obi-Wan."

Palpatine looked at Obi-Wan where he was slouched against a wall, unconscious.

"OK, well that's not hard."

One of the spectral figures behind Palpatine hissed at him.

"Drop your weapons!"

"I don't have any."

The Sith looked disappointed.

"Can I fry him anyways?"

"He's already dead idiot."

"Speaking of which, how did you manage that?"

"Clones, I've got lots of em. Just float over and repossess."

"Crap."

"So you see how futile resistance is?

"Not quite."

"And you say you're smarter than Obi-Wan!"

"I happened to know where your Gungan Water Polo jersey is."

Now it was Palpatine's turn to hiss. The Sith shades looked up hopefully. They had this "Can-I-fry-him-now-pretty-pretty-please?!!" look to their faces.

"That wont save you."

"What are you going to do? Kill me?"

"That raises some interesting metaphysical questions."

"Well you have your debating team with you."

"But actually I have a better idea"

* * *

Anakin squirmed in the chair he was bound to.

"Bastard."

"Now, now. There are children nearby."

The Three were standing near by sniggering.

"Death really would be preferable to this."

"I know. Consider this payback for the jersey."

"Point taken."

On the console in front of him could be heard some strains of music.

So the one day that this lady met this fellow.
And they knew this was much more than a hunch

Anakin nodded towards an unconscious Obi-Wan.

"What are you going to do with him?"

"I was thinking of letting him go – it would probably cause more damage that way."

Obi-Wan made "mphh" noises where he was tied up in the corner.

That this group might someday form a family
And that's the way they all became the Brady Bunch!

"Well you are good at making use of available materials…"

"But, then again, he might have a flash of competence and bring the rest of the Jedi. That would be most…inconvenient."

"Then why not kill him?"

"Mphhh!"

"Well, given the current company, that might prove…inadvisable."

"Do you always talk like that?"

"It comes from working in the Sith Evil Temple™"

The Brady Bunch!
The Brady Bunch!
And that's the way they all became the Brady Bunch!

"That really is annoying you know."

"Wait until 'Fipper' comes on."

Anakin glared at Palpatine as he left them to their doom, his Evil Laughter™ trailing off in the distance.

"Do you have one of those need Jedi rope cutting gizmos?"

Anakin craned his neck to get a look at Obi-Wan.

"Mpph, murrr, murph, mph!"

"Ya know, there's something to be said for this arrangement…do you think we could get Palpatine to use it on Yoda?"

"Beep!"

"R2!"

The little droid scooted into the room.

"He'll have us out in no time."

The droid deployed a small, buzz-saw like tool that Obi-Wan looked at nervously as the droid wheeled towards him.

"Mph!"

"Don't worry, I just worked on his sensors, he's in tip top shape!"

Obi-Wan started struggling violently.

"Alright, that's far enough."

Framed in to the doorway was a figure wearing some sort of armor that included a rocket pack.

"Hands up!"

Anakin, and Obi-Wan exchanged glances. Even R2 turned to look at the man with several of his sensors.

"Bwop-beep."

"I said 'hands up!'"

"Beep, beep."

"I'm warning you…"

"He doesn't have any hands."

"Roight, it's hard to see in this thing you know."

"You look kind of familiar…"

"Yes, I'm the legendary…Jango Fett!"

"I'm over here, you're talking to the droid."

Jango turned around several times until he finally managed to vaguely face Anakin.

"Yeah, uhh…"

"Hard to see in that thing."

"Yeah."

"Could you at least turn off this damn thing?"

Gilligan!

"Well, ummm…the thing is, Palpatine told me to leave it on." Anakin considered glowering at him, but stopped when he realized that it would be lost on the armored figure.

"And over here is the Evil Sith Throne Room™!"

Just then a crowd of people shuffled in, led by another black-robbed tour guide.

"And oh my! It's Jango Fett!"

Jango struck a pose, unfortunately at a nearby wall, but a bunch of children in the crowed ran up to admire the villain.

"Oh cool!"

"You can fly with that thing, right?"

"Does your armor come with an I-Pod?"

Between signing autographs (one of which was unfortunately on an admirer's forehead), and lack of visibility, it was a few minutes after the crowd had left that he noticed that his captives were missing.

Anakin, Obi-Wan and Padme ran towards the ship with R2 in tow.

"I take back what I said, you're not useless."

"Thanks"

"Not you, Padme!"

"Hey, no problem."

Obi-Wan look glum.

Padme schlepped off her black robe of Evil™ as they walked up the gangplank.

"Where'd you get the tour guide outfit?"

"Gift shop."

"If you don't want to keep it."

"Get your own."

Anakin sulked.

"So what's the plan? Do we have to stop Palpatine before he actives his ultimate evil plan, perhaps arriving in the nick of time and only after a protracted light saber fight?"

Obi-Wan perked up.

"Nah, let's just blast him."

Obi-Wan crossed his arms and frowned.

"I'd better fly."

"NO!"

It was Anakin's turn to look petulant.

"I know how you fly."

Padme nodded vigorously.

"R2 – take us to Yavin."

The droid zipped off to the cockpit.

"Waawaaweee!"

"Do you think that Jango will come after us?"

As the ship took off there was a dull "thud" as if something had hit the hull.

"I think he just tried."

Moving over to a porthole, the three of them looked out and saw a stunned Jango as he fell back to the landing pad.

"He should really get better visibility out of that thing."

Later on that night, the three of them sat in the galley eating some freeze dried food. Obi-Wan gagged on some strawberries.

"Don't we have that, what's-it-called, you know…orange, sorta sweet…"

"Why didn't he just kill you?"

Padme looked up from the copy "Politician Life" that she had been reading. As it just so happened, she was on the cover.

"He already tried that."

"Speaking of which, how did you survive that?"

"Who says I did?"

Obi-Wan and Padme shared a glance.

"You could have fooled me."

"For half a credit you can be me. I didn't volunteer for this."

"For what?"

Anakin turned to Padme.

"Before, we talked about how Palpatine managed to form impossible alliances."

"No, they're just unlikely. As I tried to tell you..."

"YOU TRIED TO TELL me that it these alliances, while not impossible were none the less very unlikely!"

Padme crossed her arms. This had the effect of highlighting her breasts. Obi-Wan stared. Padme noticed and uncrossed her arms uncomfortably.

"Well?"

"So they were unlikely!"

Anakin glanced at Obi-Wan, who was fidgeting as well.

"You didn't even notice, did you?"

Obi and Padme shared a "huh?" look.

"OK, so Palpatine managed to form these crazy alliances, and he also happened to be a Sith Lord, and he managed to come back from the dead…"

"And?"

"And the Jedi all experience a slow but steady decline in their ability to use the Force…"

"And?"

"And I show up, a Deathtalker…"

"And?"

"And I get shot and come back from the dead…"

"And?"

Anakin looked exasperated.

"I'll go check on R2."

"NO!"

"Fine!"

Anakin sat back down and pointedly read the nutritional ingredients of some weird, orange flavored powder that one could mix with water to form an amazingly nutritional supplement.

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