Thursday, December 18, 2008

Evening - Page 4

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Later on I found out that you usually don't get to see the head mistress as quickly as I did.

On the morning I oozed into her outer office, her secretary gave a little yelp and jumped up on her chair. Trying to put her at ease, I formed a mouth and smiled at her and said "hello." This was one of my earlier attempts so the mouth may have been a little off.

The secretary was glancing about like something in a trap when she looked at her desk and said "are you Cthulu-rck-yog-slogothothoth?"

I told her that it was pronounced "Cthulu-rck-yog-slothoth" and she seemed to calm down a little bit. She picked up a piece of paper and tried to write something but her hand kept shaking. Finally she just said something about "the head mistress will see you now!" and opened the door to the inner office.

It was weird. She didn't introduce me, she just opened the door and shooed me inside.

Glenda the Good, the Good Witch of the West, was much more at ease. She beamed nicely at me as if she had been expecting me and bade me take a seat. I did. It started dissolving. Glenda's smile seemed to lose a bit of warmth.

We talked for a little bit about Heartworms and how I would be in staying in some dorm named "The Plains of Woe." The chair collapsed.

I felt so bad! I mean first day and I'm already screwing up! But Glenda was more than gracious about it and said that it was no trouble at all. In fact she seemed to think that it was very important that I get to my first class right that moment. Rather than just walking she blinked us to the room.

I'll say one thing for you humans, some of you do have a knack for magic. When we appeared some old fart was blasting one of his students. Very good control of the arcane, I must say.

Then came the moment I was dreading.

I had hoped that I would have some time to dye my cytoplasm or put in some phosphorescent bits or something but she just threw me at the class. Gawd I was so embarrassed.

And I could tell that they all thought I was a total putz! When I waved and hastily threw together an eye-stalk they all drew back like "eeeeew! It didn't even wash it's cytoplasm!" Even the instructor drew back. I was so crushed. When the teacher told me to take a chair everyone was like "Get away from me you freak! That look is so 300,000 years ago!"

The only person who even tried to make me feel welcome was some chick wearing a bikini (is that normal? Personally I thought she looked cool) who kept staring at me. I wonder if maybe she could help me catch up with the homework for this place.

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