Monday, December 22, 2008

Evening - Page 6

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So I'm totally, like, out there with my telescope looking at the stars cuz, like you know, Dad (Mom?) is always like "Your Grandfather Cthulululu will return when the stars are right!"

One time when she (he?) said that whole bit I was, like, "so what happens when Grandpa gets back?"

"Then, then my slime, we shall rule the world!!!"

"Why do you want to do that?"

Then dad looked kind of nervous and starts sliming back and forth.

"We...we will be able to overthrow the kingdoms of man and have all the worshippers we want to eat!"

I was about to ask him why he would want that, cuz, like he can't keep the toilet of evil from overflowing, so what would he do with an entire planet, but right at moment he was all, "Got to go to work! Now you be evil!"

So I think that whole biz is a line of crap. But I still go out and look. The only problem is that he never said what the stars are supposed to look like when they are right.

Anyways, so I'm all out there with my telescope, looking up at the stars when Herbert comes blundering through and trips on my tripod.

"Ere now!"

He falls over everything and knocks my stuff down just when I had set everything up so nicely. I was going to ask him what he was doing out here in the middle of the night but then, if I had that hellspawn Xema for a girlfriend, I'd be trying to get away from her every chance I had too.

"Oh, just looking at the stars..."

Herbert turned and squinted upwards.

"Whots there to lookit?"

"I'm trying to figure out whether they're right."

"Roight for what?"

I considered trying to explain the whole Grandpa bit to him.

"Oh, just generally right I guess."

Herbert considered this for a bit and then looked back up at the stars.



"You wanta see if the staars are roight? Near as ah can tell they say nu."

I gazed at Herbert and wondered if Heartworms would miss one student.

"How can you tell?"

Herbert pointed at a region of the sky. Sure enough, "No" was spelled out in fiery letters.

"Oh…wonder why I never noticed before."

I absent mindedly started to gather up my telescope.

"You know, lookin at you in the moonlight n' all, you look different..."

I got all, like, excited for a sec, cuz I had put some new phosphorescent stuff in the ole cytoplasm today.

"Is it the glowie bits?"

"Niaye...sits more a general, something"

It seemed like I heard an orchestra, or at least a piano starting up in the background, but it all kinda like stopped when...

"There you are! What are you doing with Alex?"

The girl-fiend herself had put in an appearance. Herbert looked over in a puzzled kind of way.



She glared at me so hard I wondered if the rocks were starting to smolder.

"Chill-out man! Goth-boy and I were just talking."

"In the middle of the night?"

"I was looking at the stars!"

Xema glanced accusingly up at them. Herbert held up a broken telescope that he had fallen on.

"My telescope!"

I oozed over to Herbert and cradled it in my arms...psuedopods...whatever, but flubbed it and ended up with Herbert in know.


Xema was literally frothing at the mouth by now. I dropped Herbert.


"Die you slut!"

With a loud clang Xema's sword went clear through my body, the telescope I had been holding, and a good way into the rock beneath it. There are ways to kill a giant amoeba, but hacking at them with a sword ain't one of them. Twit.

"Great, just great. What else can go wrong tonight."

In the mean time, Xema was trying to get her sword free from the rock where it was stuck.


With a look of disgust I left the two of them up on the crag. And the scope had been a present from Mom! Or Dad...whatever.

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